She Slipped One Tiny Device Into Her Son’s Coat at the Funeral-eirian

The day we buried Eduardo, the cemetery smelled of wet marigolds, extinguished candles, and damp earth.

The rain had stopped less than an hour before the service, but the ground still held it, dark and heavy, clinging to the heels of my black shoes every time I shifted my weight.

I wore the same thin shawl Eduardo used to tease me about because he said I kept it for every solemn occasion, even when the city was warm enough to make everyone else loosen their collars.

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That morning, I could not feel warmth.

I could feel the rosary in my hand.

I could feel my wedding ring pressing into a finger swollen from three days of crying.

I could feel my son standing beside me without once reaching for my shoulder.

Diego had always known how to perform in public.

When he was a boy, he smiled at teachers after breaking windows, kissed his grandmother’s hand after ignoring her for months, and gave speeches at Eduardo’s company dinners that made older men call him impressive.

That day, he looked impressive again.

Dark suit.

Polished shoes.

Eyes fixed on the coffin.

Not a tear.

I told myself grief was strange, that a son could become stiff because softness would destroy him, that maybe Diego was holding himself together in the only way he knew.

A mother can build excuses faster than any lawyer can build a case.

By the time the priest finished, I had built enough to shelter him one last time.

Then the mourners began to move.

Hands touched my elbow.

Voices murmured that Eduardo had been a good man.

People said I was strong, though I had never felt less strong in my life.

I nodded because widows are expected to nod.

They are expected to stand, receive pity, and not collapse where the fresh earth is still open.

Diego waited until the front row had gathered close enough to hear without seeming to listen.

Then he took my hand.

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