She Mocked Her Mechanic Husband Until His Convoy Reached The Gates-hothiyenvy_5

The rain began before the funeral ended.

It tapped softly against the stained-glass windows of the chapel while my father’s friends stood in stiff dark suits and said things people say when they do not know what grief is supposed to look like.

He was a good man.

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He worked hard.

He loved his family.

All of it was true, and none of it was enough to make the room feel less hollow.

I stood beside the front pew in a black dress that still smelled faintly of the dry cleaner’s plastic bag, holding the folded program in both hands because I needed something to hold.

My father’s photo was on the front.

He looked younger in it, before the illness had thinned his face and made his hands shake when he tried to button his shirt.

Victoria, my stepmother, cried beautifully.

That was the only way I knew how to describe it.

Her tears came at the right moments.

Her handkerchief appeared at the right time.

Her daughter Chloe kept one arm around her shoulders while photographers from the local society page snapped a few respectful pictures outside the chapel doors.

I did not cry beautifully.

My face felt swollen.

My throat hurt.

When someone hugged me, I stood there too stiffly, still hearing my father’s voice in my head from three weeks earlier when he had squeezed my hand and said, “Don’t let them make you feel small, Elena.”

He had known.

I think a part of him had always known what would happen once he was gone.

Victoria had been in my life for twelve years.

She came into our house when I was twenty, wearing cream blouses, perfect lipstick, and the kind of smile that looked warm until you got close enough to see it never reached her eyes.

At first I tried with her.

I remembered her birthday.

I helped Chloe move into her first apartment.

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