At Thanksgiving, while I was trying not to think about the fact that I was basically homeless-yumihong

By the time Thanksgiving dinner began, Mandy had already decided she would not tell anyone how bad things had gotten.

She had rehearsed it in the mirror of her friend Claire’s bathroom that morning, while the faucet dripped and someone else’s towel hung behind her like proof she did not belong anywhere permanent.

Smile.

Say work is fine.

Say you are figuring things out.

Do not mention the eviction.

Do not mention the couch.

Do not mention the $12.50 in your bank account.

At 9:18 a.m., Mandy had opened her banking app with one hand while holding her work shirt away from the damp sink with the other.

The number on the screen was so small it almost looked fake.

$12.50.

She stared at it for a long moment, then locked the phone and placed it face down on the counter as though the number might grow teeth if she kept looking.

She was twenty-eight years old, employed at two different jobs, and still calculating whether she could buy gas or lunch, but not both.

The worst part was not poverty.

The worst part was pretending it was a temporary inconvenience when everyone around her treated her life like evidence of a personal flaw.

Her parents called it poor planning.

Ashley called it chaos.

Mandy called it survival, though usually only inside her own head.

Her younger sister Ashley had always been the polished one.

Ashley had married Kevin, a man with good shoes, a clean laugh, and parents who appeared in photos at lake houses and charity dinners.

Ashley knew how to pose beside white railings and caption sunsets like they belonged to her.

Mandy knew how to wash her uniform in a borrowed machine at midnight and fold it quietly so she would not wake the friend letting her sleep on the couch.

For three years, Ashley had posted pictures from a wide white house by the lake.

Blue shutters.

A long porch.

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