At My Cousin’s 18th Birthday, the FBI Walked In Before Derek Could Cut the Cake-olive

Derek’s hand stopped over the cake knife.

Blue frosting clung to the silver blade. The DJ was still thumping bass through the backyard speakers, a stupid summer remix shaking the window glass while two agents in navy jackets stepped through the patio doors like they’d been invited. One of them had a braid tucked tight against her neck. The other carried a flat black case and a face that didn’t move.

Nobody in the room breathed right for a second.

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Marcus’s lawyer kept one hand on the iPad and pressed play again.

Derek’s voice came out of the speaker, low and smug, with ice clinking in the background. Lisa laughed first. Then he said the line that cracked the room open.

‘Once Marcus signs Monday, your sister can keep pretending she married up. You and I will be in Aruba before she knows the accounts are empty.’

Mom made a sound like a glass breaking in a sink.

Derek turned so fast the cake knife scraped the plate. Aunt Lisa grabbed the back of the sofa, her bracelets chiming against each other. Rebecca’s acrylic nail snapped off in her own fist. Michael had gone so still his birthday sash looked pinned onto a department-store mannequin.

‘That recording is edited,’ Lisa said.

Her lipstick had bled into the lines around her mouth. A bead of sweat slid from under one diamond earring and disappeared into the collar of her cream blouse.

Marcus didn’t raise his voice. He just nodded at the lawyer.

The lawyer spread out another row of papers across the glass coffee table. Wire transfers. Cashier’s checks. Copies of invoices from three maintenance companies that didn’t exist anywhere except on paper. One LLC had been opened in Nevada. Another in Florida. A third had a mailbox in Delaware and no employees at all. The total on the front summary page sat there in black ink so neat it looked fake.

$4,317,892.16.

Mom’s knees buckled against the edge of the sofa. Derek reached for her automatically, forgetting for half a second which side he was supposed to be on, and she swung her purse so hard the metal clasp caught him across the cheekbone.

‘Don’t touch me.’

That came out of her like a hiss through her teeth.

Outside, the music cut off mid-chorus. Somebody in the backyard must have seen the jackets through the windows, because a row of faces had started appearing against the glass. Wet hair. party dresses. one of Michael’s friends still holding a paper plate with a slider on it. Their mouths moved, but through the sealed doors it looked like a silent movie.

The female agent stepped forward first.

‘Lisa Anderson and Derek Hall, place your phones on the table.’

Lisa laughed at that. Too loud. Too brittle.

‘You can’t walk into my home and—’

‘This home is in Marcus Anderson’s name,’ the agent said. ‘Phone. Now.’

Derek set his phone down with two fingers. Lisa didn’t. The second agent moved behind her, and the sound that came out of her throat was thin and ugly, like somebody dragging metal lawn furniture over concrete.

Michael finally blinked. Then he looked at Marcus instead of his mother.

‘Did you know?’

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