After Her Son Hit Her, This Savannah Mother Set the Table-Ginny

The night my son hit me, the kitchen in our Savannah house did not look like the scene of anything important.

There were dishes in the sink.

There was a damp towel twisted beside the faucet.

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There was an old refrigerator humming against the wall, the same way it had hummed through birthdays, homework, divorce papers, Christmas mornings, and all the ordinary disappointments that build a life.

I remember those details because my mind could not hold the bigger truth all at once.

It held the clock ticking.

It held the smell of bleach and stale beer.

It held the burn spreading across my cheek after my twenty-three-year-old son, Wyatt, raised his hand and hit me.

Last night, my son hit me, and I did not cry.

That sentence sounds cold when I write it now, but there was nothing cold about it when it happened.

My whole body felt hot.

My face burned.

My throat closed.

My hands shook so badly against the counter that I could hear my nails tapping the laminate.

Wyatt did not knock me down.

There was no blood on the floor.

No neighbor heard me scream because I did not scream.

That is the part people misunderstand about fear inside a familiar house.

Sometimes it is not loud.

Sometimes it is the quiet after the line has been crossed, when the person who crossed it acts as if nothing sacred has been broken.

Wyatt had not always been like that.

That is the sentence every mother of a violent adult child whispers to herself before she can say anything harder.

As a boy, Wyatt was sweet in a restless, exhausting, beautiful way.

He ran everywhere.

He laughed too loud.

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