I told Kennedy that night over takeout Thai at the kitchen island.
Her fork froze halfway to her mouth.
“Is she going to die?” she asked.
I hated how fast that question came.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I hope not. But she’s very sick.”
Kennedy stared at the little pile of peanuts on her plate, nudging them into patterns.
“Do you want to see her?” I asked.
She didn’t answer right away.
“I don’t know,” she said finally. “I don’t want to pretend everything’s fine. But I don’t want to regret not saying goodbye, either.”
There it was again: the heavy, impossible calculus of family.
“You don’t have to decide tonight,” I said. “I’ll go first. I’ll tell you honestly what it’s like. Then you can decide.”
She nodded.
“Okay.”
Then she added, almost as an afterthought,
“If I go… I’m not hugging Uncle Garrett.”
I smiled despite the ache in my chest.
“Boundary noted.”
St. Francis smelled like antiseptic and stale coffee. The ICU waiting room looked exactly like every other waiting room I’d ever seen—gray chairs, tired people, a TV tuned to a news channel on mute.
Bridget was slumped in a corner chair, mascara smeared, hair in a messy bun.
She shot to her feet when she saw me.
“Holly.”
It was the first time she’d said my name in over two years.
I nodded.
“Where is she?”
She led me down a hallway lined with monitors and softly beeping machines.
Mom looked small in the hospital bed. One side of her face drooped slightly. Her gray hair was flattened against the pillow. An IV ran into the back of her hand.
Her eyes were closed.
For a second, she looked like she was just napping in her recliner with a blanket over her legs and a Hallmark movie playing in the background.
Then her eyes fluttered open.
She saw me.
Her whole face changed.
“Holly,” she whispered, the word thick around the edges.
I forced my feet to move.
“Hi, Mom.”
I took her hand, careful of the IV.
Up close, I could see how fragile her skin had become, pale and translucent.
“I told them you’d come,” she said.
My throat tightened.
“I’m here.”
For a minute, we just sat there, listening to the soft hiss of oxygen, the rhythmic beep of some monitor I didn’t understand.
“I made mistakes,” she said suddenly.
The words came out tangled, like she had to wrestle them past something that had been stuck for decades.
I held my breath.
“With you. With… girls.”
Her eyes flicked to Bridget, standing awkwardly in the doorway.
I didn’t rush to fill the silence.
I didn’t say, It’s okay.
Because it wasn’t.
She took another breath.
“I thought… keeping peace was love.”
There it was.
The whole rotten philosophy, summed up in eight words.
“I know,” I said quietly.
“I know you did.”
Her eyes filled.
“I should have… stood up. For you. For… Kennedy.”
The heart monitor beeped steadily beside us.
“You still can,” I said.
She blinked.
“How?”
“You can tell the truth,” I answered. “To yourself. To Bridget. To Garrett. You can stop pretending the way things were was okay.”
She let out a shaky sound that might have been a laugh.
“Always… so direct,” she murmured.
“Got that from your father.”
I almost corrected her—no, I got that from surviving your silence—but stopped myself.
She was already fighting to get each sentence out.
“I can bring Kennedy,” I said. “If you want to see her. If she wants to see you. But I won’t make her. Not ever again.”